Thankful

I feel beyond blessed with what the Lord has given me! A wonderful husband who works hard to provide for me and the girls! He's an incredible father and not afraid to jump in and change a dirty diaper or help put Leeana to bed. I'm thankful for the home we live in, that we have more than the "average" person, and I'm beyond thankful for the little things we take for granted like water, AC, a bed, clothes, food, etc. I'm thankful for family who steps in to help when you can't do it all yourself. My mama has been my rock this last month since having Olivia. She's driven so many hours to come to our house, watch the kids, help clean our home, prepare meals, as allowing me to rest as I've recovered! I'm thankful for my church family whose given us many meals as we've transitioned into a family of 4, and I've been recovering. Ready made dinners has been a huge blessing beyond belief! I'm thankful to be a mom to two beautiful girls! Leeana has transitioned into a big sister so smoothly! She's such an incredible helper and doing so well in not taking things out on the baby, or being jealous as I hear happens a lot. Olivia has been amazing and has been the easiest addition! She's so content. She loves to eat, but prefers to sleep! Quite a blessing to have a good sleeping baby at just a month old. It's been quite an easy adjustment which I'm so thankful for because it's helped me to recover quickly from my c-section. Last, but not least, I'm thankful for my salvation! What a blessing it is to be in Christ Jesus and to have comfort in my eternal salvation! Knowing that I'm a wretch sinner, and that God chose me before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4) is such a huge blessing because I don't deserve it! What a gift it is! 

Take a look today at things around you and remember what things you're thankful for. We all have so much to be thankful for, and many times forget to acknowledge it. Take a moment today to acknowledge what you're thankful for! 

A family walk

Olivia is 1 month!!

My Girls!

Grammy loves her newest grand baby!

You were worth the wait

Olivia Nicole, 

You were worth waiting for as your daddy and I struggled for a year to conceive you! You were worth waiting to behold that very first moment I laid eyes on you and kissed you! To your 10 toes and your 10 fingers forming, it was worth the wait. For your little body to form, it was worth the wait. I would go through waiting all over again to feel the joy of meeting you for the first time!! 

So here's how the day played out when the wait was FINALLY over!!!

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Texts to daddy:

Me/8:11am-"Just had a contraction. Maybe 30 seconds."

Dad-"nice!"

Me-"Felt like some cramping/stomach pain and then slowly went away"

Dad/8:12am-"Cool!"

Dad- "Did you practice the relaxation techniques?"

Me- "Didn't need to this time. It was an easy one. Just looked at the time (8:10) and breathed through it"

Me/8:31am- "8:29-another contraction "

Dad/8:32am-"Uh oh!"

Me-"Nothing to worry about. They may not be consistent."

Dad/8:34am-"But what if they are? I should've taken the metro"

Me/8:35am-"Well I'll let you know when they happen so we can keep track. As of now it could begin, but doesn't mean she's coming immediately. Just tracking. And 19 mins apart for 2 of them is kinda spaced out. It's ok. We will figure it out if she decides to come today."

Me/8:43am-"8:40-contraction. They're not bad, but definitely noticeable for sure. Like stomach tightening and feels like it first did with Leeana. I'm laying down so I'm not encouraging anything to happen at least"

Dad/8:43am- "Yeah. Please wait"

Me/8:45am- "That's fine. We will figure it out if things begin. I'm going to keep laying down and relaxing for now and go about my day as normal and just keep track of what's going on"

Me/8:57am-"8:55-60 seconds"

Dad/9:07am- "Wow"

Me-"I'm ok. Just keeping track. I'll keep you updated."

Me/9:11am- "9:08 {contraction}. Okay, my water broke"

Dad-"Whaaaaaa"

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And moments later daddy was headed home to come and see you! He got to the door and said "We're having a baby!"

Daddy ran upstairs and began getting his bag ready to go, as Leeana and I finished grabbing last minute things. Within 20 minutes we were packing up the van and then sat and prayed in the van one last time as a family of 3, praying for your safe delivery. Then we were on our way! 

We arrived at the hospital and Grammy was in the parking lot waiting! She helped us get inside as we got checked in and waited about 30 minutes to get to Triage. Once there, they confirmed my water did break and our labor and delivery room was ready! They gave us a huge room with a Window view and we loved it! At this point my contractions were anywhere from 6-10 minutes apart and I handled them like a pro! Breathed easily and relaxed myself, once done, I was back to talking and joking. 

Soon after your daddy and I were able to start walking the halls and get things moving even more! Contractions were between 2-4 minutes apart. I was getting excited to know that meant you were getting closer to your arrival! The day was officially here, and the feeling was indescribable to know you were coming! Soon after your granddaddy showed up with food for daddy & Grammy, and that's when things got more challenging. The contractions were back to back! {6:30pm}

Your Aunt Lauren was racing the clock to make it there before you were born!! She arrived around 7pm, and by then, your pleasant mommy was gone. Contractions were tough, but I was determined to keep going! I wanted to push, but I was only 4 centimeters! I felt discouraged because things weren't farther along. Finally Aunt Lauren had arrived!!! 

It seems as though your desire to arrive has set off my high blood pressure/hypertension during labor. The midwife kept encouraging me as I went through contractions, and they tried to control my blood pressure. The next two hours were constant contractions! It felt like I would never make it through this intensity, but one contraction at a time and I was one step closer to seeing you. Thankfully your daddy & Aunt Lauren jumped in to help massage me all over as I faced each contraction. They were tough, but they helped me to make it much more bearable. I kept thinking "why did I choose to go naturally? My body can't possibly do this! I want to push her out NOW!" And yet I knew I chose it because it was the best option for you and me! It was something that was so challenging, but felt like the greatest accomplishment of my life!! They kept trying to control my blood pressure with medicine, and yet one contraction I was fine, and the next it was high again. This was definitely not good for you at all, but they kept a close watch the whole time. 

Around 9:20pm they finally checked to see how dilated I was since I kept complaining of wanting to push. Our midwife, Kelly, checked and we were 8 centimeters! She said that she wanted to tickle your head since your heart-rate wasn't jumping like it should during labor. She tickled, you did nothing. She tried again, no response. At this time they called in the OB on call, Dr Allison Brenner, and she came in to check as well. She tickled your head, nothing. She took out her hand and a huge puddle of blood was everywhere. I couldn't see anything (thankfully) but immediately your Aunt Lauren walked out crying. The OB mentioned how it's 5 times more than the normal amount, and we should discuss a possible c-section. By this time my blood pressure spiked to 191/101, and a moment later your heart-rate immediately dropped. {I had no idea it had dropped, but knew my blood pressure spiked}

Next second the OB says "we're doing a c-section now!" Within a minute I was out of that room and on my way to get surgery. Your daddy asked Kelly if he could come in and join, and she said not now but that she would come and get him. Grammy was crying, and I remember telling her as they rolled me out, "it's ok guys, I'll be fine!" I remember grabbing your granddads arm on the way out and down the hall I went. Clearly I had no idea what was really going on, because the nurses, OB, and midwife were all so calm. 

At that time, Kelly had given daddy scrubs to wear, and said "change, and I'll be back to get you in a few moments." The contractions kept coming, and in the operation room I lost sense of "mimicking sleep/relaxation" as I was supposed to do. It was intense as each contraction hit and people were all talking calmly, but moving quickly to get things done. I remember one thing they said which felt impossible "you have to move yourself onto this table here." I was screaming through the contraction, but had to move quickly. I got on the table and the sheet went up, and I hear them say to me "hunny we have to knock you out" and immediately I'm in tears! My midwife asked what was wrong and I said "I won't be awake when my baby is born!" And she reassured me she would be with me. I asked "is my husband coming?" And she said "no." Of course I cry again because your daddy wouldn't be there, and I wouldn't be awake for your first cry. Next thing I knew, my midwife pinched my throat, and that was all I remembered. {later found out I was intubated} Little did I know how urgent getting you out was. 

Minutes later, midwife Kelly, had gone out to daddy and told him "baby Olivia is doing just fine!" You had arrived at 9:36pm!!!! Daddy asked "ok, so what about my wife?" So she repeats "the baby is doing just fine. You need to be with your family right now and pray. Unfortunately I don't have any answers for you right now." She began to pull daddys scrubs off of him, and gave Daddy a hug as he began to cry. He went back to Grammy, granddad, and Aunt Lauren and told them what he heard and began praying. They had no idea what was going on with me at the time. About 30 minutes later, Kelly & then Dr. Brenner had come in to tell them that I was doing fine and let them know what happened. I had a placental abruption (the placenta separated) and you were no longer getting oxygen. When you were born, it took them about 5 minutes to resuscitate you, and they placed you on oxygen for a little bit until you were breathing on your own. It was hard for them to control my bleeding after you were born, but thankfully it was done! What a relief! Kelly said she had never had that happen before with any of her patients, and Dr. Brenner said its so rare that it happens, that she was scared. Thankfully they both handled it so well!! 

Next thing, you got to meet some family! Your daddy was so happy to finally hold the little one who he anxiously awaited this whole time! 

At this point I was in the post operation room, as I had to be there for 2 hours to make sure I was doing ok. I remember asking them if you were ok, and they had showed you to me after you were born, but I remember seeing everything so blurry, and hearing a baby cry. I was glad to know that you were okay, and with the family. Finally, it was after 11:30pm, and it was time to go back and see the family and my baby girl! 

I arrived at the room, and hearing one of the family members say "is that Arielle?" And immediately I raise my hand up (my bed was being backed in, and it couldn't fit) and immediately granddad comes out and gives me a hug and kiss. Next thing, I see your daddy. He's never looked so happy to see me in my entire life! He can't seem to stop giving me kisses, and boy am I enjoying them! We get in the room and immediately they ask me, "do you know what happened in there?" And I say "of course, Olivia had to be resuscitated, but she's okay." And immediately they say, "no, do you know what happened to you?" And of course I say "no!" They begin to tell me and I was shocked! I had no idea because of how calm everyone in the room was before my emergency c-section. 

Minutes later, they brought you in and wow, the emotions were overwhelming! Of course I cried! I was thankful to God for sparing both of our lives!! 

I'm so thankful to have you here today, and that you were truly worth the wait! No matter what, I would give my life to save yours anyday! I love you Olivia Nicole! 

Love, 

Your mama

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Some pics during your hospital stay! 

Meeting your sister for the first time! 

Time to go home!

We love you sweet girl! 

FULL TERM!!!

Baby girl, 

   You're finally considered full-term (37 weeks) and that means that whenever you're ready, you can come and we can take you home!!!! I'm so anxious to see you, meet you and hold you and get tons of snuggle time in. I know everyone else can't wait to meet you and do the same. It's been amazing bonding with you as you flip and kick me all the time, but now your mama is ready to look at you face to face and truly meet you! 
   It's crazy to think that your daddy and I only dreamed of the moment we would be meeting you just months ago, and over a year ago, we were anxious to be able to have another child, and yet God is answering both prayers! It's been a blessing to be your mom so far, and I look forward to watching you grow after your arrival. 
   I've officially set up all of your things in the house: car seat & stroller, crib, bassinet/changing area. Now it's time to pack the hospital bag so we're ready for labor and delivery. Your daddy keeps saying "I'm ready to catch this baby!" so get ready my sweet girl, because daddy plans to hold you in his hands as soon as you enter the world. Knowing that in less than 3 weeks we will get to see you, it's blowing my mind. I'm filled with so many emotions of joy, happiness, peace, anxiety, and so much more. I just want life with you to begin immediately. 
   Your big sister, Leeana, has already gotten things ready your room. She's moved onto her big girl bed, and she reminds daddy and I that "baby goes in crib" so that we know where you'll be sleeping. We're preparing her that you'll be here soon, and she's quite ready to help out being the big sister! I think you're truly going to be spoiled by your big sister, but don't worry, we will keep an eye on her so she won't over-spoil you with TOO many toys at once. Hehe. 
   I love you, my sweet little girl! See you soon! In the meantime, keep growing and kicking. 

Love,
Mama

PS - Thanks for all the constant kicks as I wrote this to you! I think you may be aware that I'm always thinking of you! :)

Pregnancy the 2nd time around

Some say that pregnancies can differ and some say they're all the same no matter the gender you're having. Once we found out we were pregnant this time, things were somewhat similar from the start in many ways, and I knew it was another girl. This pregnancy has similarities and differences like any pregnancy, however, this pregnancy has been a bit more difficulty this time around. 

Leeanas pregnancy went a little like this...

-Super excited finding out we were pregnant and having a baby! 

-no real nausea except for 2 weeks, and I would eat and was fine 

-trimester 2=SIMPLE!!!

-trimester 3... Had tons of energy, got bigger, and then by the end I was having pelvic pain and was ready to have this baby (week 39 I was done)

-Leeana was breech (head up) by 30 weeks, and I had to have a c-section 

This pregnancy...

-Super excited finding out we were pregnant after a year long wait!

-had nausea, needed so much rest because the nausea wouldn't always subside with food 

-trimester 2... Pelvic pain began MUCH earlier and the loss of energy happened quickly! 

-trimester 3... More bursts of energy, however still more pelvic pain 

-this little lady is head down, giving us a bigger chance of doing a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean/natural birth) 

Bonus: felt her move super early this time (I believe it was week 17 I felt the first movements) and that made the discomfort that was soon to come that much more bearable. 

Of course, every pregnancy has similarities and differences. This time I started off 20lbs heavier than I did with Leeana, because let's be real, you don't always lose ALL the baby weight. I think that the extra weight has a lot to do with the fact that I've had pelvic pain much earlier on. Also, this 2nd pregnancy I've been diagnosed with gestational diabetes (diabetes during pregnancy) and it crushed me big time! A week later, I realized it's not so bad and just helping me to make better food choices and I'm actually doing great with it!!! This time around I also have a toddler needing tons of attention and help in many areas, when I only dealt with adults last pregnancy. All in all, the challenges that do/can come with pregnancy are all worth it when feeling and seeing the little one I'm carrying inside. I would take any of this on again and again in order to bring a beautiful human life into this world. Thank you Lord for this blessing!! 

Love you baby girl! Can't wait to meet you soon!!

7 months and counting...

Oh sweet baby Gonzy #2, we've reached the third and FINAL trimester!!! Yeah! This is a huge success and just making me so much more anxious to meet you face to face! Can't believe that in just 12 weeks it'll be the due date of your expected arrival, June 12th!! That's so exciting and yet so nerve-racking for your arrival as I want the house perfect for you! So many things must be done before you come, but I'm taking one day/week at a time in preparing to bring you home. You're such an active little girl already, that I know you're going to keep your daddy & I busy as we watch you grow up and become such a beautiful young lady! Already, we love you so much! Last week I officially changed my bedroom around, and now it'll be ready for you as you'll be staying with your daddy & I for a bit once we bring you home. I can't wait for our late night nursing time and conversations as I sit and fall so in love with you. I truly couldn't be more excited to have a second little girl! 

Can't wait to see you babygirl!! 

Love, 

Your mama 

Thoughts...

BabyGIRL Gonzy 2,

I can't believe that now I'm 26 weeks along & you'll be here so soon! I feel like I have an endless list of things to do before your arrive in June. I feel like you may even arrive early, so every week means BIG things need to be marked off the calendar to make sure we're ready for your arrival. I want the house to be perfect when we bring you home. This week I'm going to be sorting through the clothes that you'll be wearing in a few months! I already know I'll be tearing up imagining you wear them. It's an emotional thing thinking about having a child who you love so much, and yet can't see at this time. Having patience is so challenging, especially when I want to look at your little face and body and just kiss you. 

Tonight, your daddy was praying for you and myself and my body has been aching from carrying you, and immediately you began kicking. It was so sweet, as if you knew across the room he mentioned you, an you wanted to say "thanks daddy!" I can't wait to see when your daddy looks at you for the first time, because he's going to love you so intensely and be willing to give up his own life for you. You're so loved already my little lady! Can't wait to meet you! 

Love, 

Your mama 

PS- thanks for all the kicks you gave me as I wrote this. You must know I'm thinking about you! MWAH!

My 27th birthday, 25 weeks & 4 days along. 

A letter to my babyGIRL Gonzy #2!

My dear sweet babygirl,

I can't wait to meet you in June, hold you, and learn everything there is to know about you!! I'm so thankful that God chose YOU to be my daughter, and me to be your mother. You have no idea the joy your daddy and I feel about bringing home another little girl!! I'm so anxious to see if you'll have black hair like your daddy, or even my green eyes. Or, will you look like your sister and be a mini-me, and have long brown hair, and your daddy's brown eyes? The anticipation is so tough to contain because now knowing your gender, we want to see you already! 

You have a big sister, Leeana, waiting to meet you. She loves you so much already. She always comes to give you kisses and says "mommy, I kiss baby!" as she pulls up my shirt to expose my belly and kiss you, her little sister. You have an instant best friend, because I guarantee she won't leave you alone once you arrive! I can't wait to put you in the same outfits that she wore and take pictures to compare the two of you at the same stage! It'll be something to always enjoy as you two grow older and are so close. I truly look forward to that relationship building over the upcoming years. 

We're already preparing so much for your arrival! I've already moved things around in your bedroom with your sister in preparation! It's quite exciting as I've now pulled out all the clothes that you'll be wearing as I'll need to organize them for your arrival! Getting things in place for you makes my heart so happy! Just around 4 more months of waiting, and then I'll get to enjoy your little smile all the time! 

Back in October when your daddy and I found out we were expecting another little one, we couldn't contain the excitement. One day you'll understand the anticipation of wanting a child of your own. We waited almost a whole year, before God finally decided it was time for another blessing of life, through you! I look forward to being able to be home with you from day 1, and if the Lord sees fit, I'll always be home with you and your sibling(s) to teach you and raise you throughout the years ahead. I really do look forward to learning everything there is to know about you!! Will you sleep through the night like Leeana did, or be a night owl, so we can have our mommy-daughter time while the rest of the house sleeps? Will you be a good eater, or be picky when it comes to food? All the little things that'll make you who you are, I look forward to finding all of that out. I love you my little girl and can't wait to see and meet you soon! In the meantime, keep up the kicks and all the movement! I love knowing that you're already such a strong little girl! 😘

Love, mommy

Here are some added baby updates:

First kick felt-15 weeks

Daily kicks felt-17 week

Found gender-19 weeks 

Daddy felt first kick-20 weeks

And then some pics to show your growing throughout the time in my belly:

The day we found out we were having another girl!! (should actually say 1-19-16)